Little Miss Drama

Why do you let history repeat itself?

on March 18, 2006

You’ve been in this situation before, remember? Then why are you still frowning? Why do you get frustrated and disappointed at the same time? You, of all people, should have known better.

Several years ago, you met someone whom you never thought you would see or talk again because for one, distance was the reason until he started calling you…every single damn day…always at 6pm. You then got comfortable with each other, felt good about the exchange of stories but thought that this was just nothing.

All of a sudden you felt you’ve known so much about him already and you started missing him when he couldn’t call. You even started going home as early as possible right after your classes just so you could be home by 6pm and take his call. He then started letting you know his whereabouts even if it was not really necessary and you started to care more than the usual without you realizing that you have already fallen for him. But then one day, it all stopped. No good morning message, no phone calls and it went on for days, weeks until you eventually got tired of waiting for the beep or ring that would never come. You definitely felt bad about it but you also knew that you had no right to even demand an explanation as to why this was happening because after all, you were just his friend…his confidante.

After a year, he was back in his old routine of phone calls and sweet messages but this time it was different because he talked more of his girlfriend. One day, he told you something he has never told you before and that surprised you yet made you happy at the same time. And you found yourself again continuously falling. You knew at that time that it had to stop otherwise you would just get hurt in the end. You gave him two options: stop the nonsense or make a decision on what he really felt. So, he did.

You two then had your moment to really get to know each other better. You started going out and spend more time with him until you realized this was not what you expected and not what you really wanted. He then got tired of exerting more effort just to please you and make you happy thus, in the long run, he left. Yes, you felt devastated and you knew you had your fault yet you also could not deny the fact that you felt bad for losing him (again). It took you a while to really get over it.

After six years, it seems that everything has been happening again. You just came from a failed relationship when suddenly someone came in to your life. Unknowingly, he has put back the smile on your face which your friends thought you have already lost for good and the stars on your eyes cannot just be denied ever since you met him. You did not ask him to do anything yet he started calling you almost everyday and the exchange of text messages just seemed to be never-ending. You started spending time with him more than anyone else…every break he has in a day and sometimes even after work. You felt weird and confused because you guys have been acting extra sweet to each other yet no one has said a word about it. That was when you found yourself again in that very same complicated situation that you used to be back then. You are falling again and you just don’t know how else you can get out of it. For a while, you thought you could just “go with the flow” but deep inside, you knew you just couldn’t. And now it is hurting you because you knew you had to leave. And you let him know about that too. He told you to just enjoy and so you did until the day when you have to leave just gets nearer and nearer.

All of a sudden and unexpectedly, things just changed. There have been no calls or any messages at all from him and there you are again wondering why and feeling bad about it. You don’t even have any idea on whether you would still be communicating for the succeeding days or this is just the end of those happy times. The only thing you know is that you just have to get used to this.

I do not understand why you let history repeat itself as if you have learned nothing from the past. You should not even have gotten emotionally involved in the first place but knowing you, I know you would. Despite all the warning bells in your head that such was going nowhere and that you should not fall for him, I know you would.

A friend told you once, “Don’t play with fire if you can’t take the heat” but still you went on with it not realizing that the heat would just be unbearable and so, you now feel being burned.

I understand you just wanted to be happy even if there was so little time, and enjoy every moment with him while it lasts…that you just wanted to leave bringing all those good memories to another place and forever be grateful that someone like him came and put back the color in your old dull world…but now you’re not even sure.

I guess, you just have to be thankful that somehow this has happened and that you are about to leave anyway.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Charlotte Farhan Art - Creating Change

Visual Artist, Published Illustrator, Writer, owner / editor of ASLI Magazine, activist to end rape culture and campaigner to end stigma against mental illness. #artsaveslives

A Tourist, A Traveler and A Lover of Art

I always believe that if you've experienced something extraordinary, you have no right to keep it to yourself. Paola Nazario

Monsoon Breeze

Homely Thoughts and Arabian Dreams

Some Good Eats

Eat and don't worry about it

kelzbelzphotography

My journey - The good, bad and the ugly

MIRAGE

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Don't have an ideal to work for. That's like riding towards the mirage of a lake.

Kumpulan Kata-kata Sedih, Kata Bijak, Kata Cinta, serta berbagi kata yang baru terupdate

Kumpulan Kata-kata Sedih, Kata Bijak, Kata Kata Cinta, Kata Ucapan, dan berbagi kata hanya untuk kesenangan

MuseBoxx

Space to Create

%d bloggers like this: